Be more open hearted

Terrified of this world
I gift myself the confidence
to sometimes be capable to forget the absurdity of day to day life.
They go by so quickly.
These moments,
I can hardly grasp
and if I get to catch them,
they don’t slip through my fingers –
I crush them like a bird in my hand.
My friends say I should relax more,
but nobody calls me
when I stare at the wall
for 7 days straight.
Bricks of paranoia.
Sometimes birds beep at night
and bang their little heads
against the window
What harm does letting him in?
A new winged creature sits in my hand.
I believe what he says,
has no footing.
At least I’ll know the next morning.
Then again
I’m not a bird watcher,
I just choke birds.
I’m afraid of the poultry.
They push me out into the world,
sometimes I have enough fun to forget it.
Then I can be normal for once,
but just wait and see,
I’ll run into the wall
I have seen every crack of.
Too long gone,
I miss the chirping
and I’m doing my best
to imitate it.
A ton of feathers are left behind
not heavier than iron
but not lighter either.