Pretty Petty-minded

If my nihilism wins
then I will die
outside
looking inside
through a window
face grinding down in drool the pane;
looking at stuffed animals;
“go back, along your way, boy.”
If my nihilism wins
then I will die alone.
Probably in an bug infested
drug-hole.
Shoot into myself
and dream of days
were it could have been better.
If my nihilism wins
I might not be alone
but lonesome isolated
only pulled out as statistic,
if there is a election cycle to win.
Blessed be the ones
that want to help
but can’t save you.
Take your change
as consolation;
just feel better about yourself;
but real chances of something to aspire to
never force themselves on you
expect if you are
fuckable.