unanswered

Once I was here
and you were there
my heart was gone then
and my pain
was about to overtake me.
and it is where calamity
came in.
you were gone.
what was
that was once.
I once said,
I liked you very much
and disgusting is what
I would have done to you
if we were ever alone
suddenly more intimate.
Don’t be ashamed
for feeling something.
“blue eyed boy
what should I see?
blue eyed boy
what have you been doing to me?”
We held hands
through another person,
shared food and thoughts
and unspeakable truths
like we were the same.
I wouldn’t have asked,
where you wanted to go
just if you wanted to go
with me.