Relative speaking narcism

When all paths are ridden with boot steps
I can’t move the world
I don’t even move myself
no other person seems to change that
once you have asked me
what happens
if you are always the smartest person in the room.
People turn to chimpanzees
at their max the make good entertainment
nothing feels like it should
tired of searching if you could
People like me are assholes.
but I still
don’t want to be alone anymore
I would prefer death
and I would kill myself
if I could find peace in my version of afterlife.