Jug & Brainf*ck

I never thought
I would be coming back
Writing always just made me perplex
since I list what I had
my heart,
my enthusiasm
a straight back.
Age hit me
with things that are never coming back
God what I would give
to know next
to nothing
about who I was
why I should be mad
or why I am lying in my own bed
and what I am missing
I wish I could get her
what we had
but that is not who I am supposed to be anymore
just means to keep your dreams back
and deflate wishes into reality
until you can take
what your mind throws at you

and reality reluctantly trades you back.
What a sad sack
I had become
no turning
I walk the walk
I am not going to turn and look
Just wish I hadn’t left
my soul behind
hadn’t given up
what I felt
not like I ever could ever
give a sacrifice for survival back.
oh god
how many times do I have to remember that?

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