Post-Romance Indoctrination

I swear to god
she is my clock
the train I tried to
caught
but at some point
you realize
you are too late
so
you sit back
mates there to be found
in shared misery
can talk about
death and
self-harm
know one or two things about
that
and the endurance of certainty
we all turn around
eventually
it is just not very
productive
so you breath
one evening
in and out
into a pint of beer.
Disgusted of the thought
that you are drinking
to feel some joy.
And you wonder
if you were wrong about
so many things
you have done
and what it was
you were
on about
back then again
there was no madness to your method
just a fundamental
you were wrong about
maybe all along
from the beginning
or dropped
on the path to nothingness
so you blow the foam of your beer
and take a sip
and it is not like
it does matter
it is all about
what you are on about
are you doubling
down that night on your thought
or is time
to shift the meta?